To be honest, I don’t know how to begin this entry. I don’t know where to start this- I can’t seem to gather my thoughts… All I know is that, I should write this down and express my feelings no matter its randomness, because I know I should and I should keep going in life.
Picking Up The Pieces Moving Forward
Maybe, I will consider this day the start of my year, ‘cause, if I may just recall, I had the most difficult time towards the end of 2018 of things unimaginable that actually happened in my life- unfortunate event that shattered me, that broke me; that even up to now, no matter how a lot I would remind myself that life is uncertain and there is a reason behind all these, there are still times that I would question why did it happen too soon- my Mom’s passing.
It was the hardest time for me and my family, because I know, we struggled to be “Okay” instead of being “Okay” and we do not have a choice elsewhere, but to go through all the grieving we have to go through towards healing. I am just hoping that one of these, we all will be, that someday, everything will make sense
When my Mom happened, everything that’s left for 2018 were never realized- plans, goals- everything! And, 2019, as I was supposed to set another goals in life and plans to make happen, it never got started. I could not get a solid grasp where to begin and how to materialize all these- I feel lost.
Somewhere along the way, it came to my senses that I was not making sense in life lately and that, I need to push myself hard, bounce back and start planning in life as 2019 won’t pause its time for me- it’s ticking and it’s almost reaching the first quarter of the year.
Picking Up The Pieces, Moving Forward
You know, a friend gave me a 2019 journal in Christmas, and I never took time to open and use it, not until yesterday that I decided to finally write something down on it. Goals, goals, goals- those were the things I wrote down on my journal and when I scanned it back, it’s funny how few of the goals I am wanting to achieve this year does not make any sense… but, at least, goals that I will be able to make happen no matter how small they are are called, achievements. And from there, I know, I am beginning to pick up the broken pieces of me and slowly get myself back on track.
I am pretty sure that’s what Mom wants and I know, she would be happy watching us okay. It’s the fact that she is no longer physically with us that makes me low-spirited and at times, frown and it takes awhile of getting used to it, but in God’s time, everything will be alright.
I am crossing fingers that this entry would be the tiny spark that creates flame, and that flame will continue burning. And as I go on with this journey called, life, I wish, all is well for you and me.
Happy New Year- new life to me!